10 reason not to kiss on the sylvester
To all of the single guys and single ladies who didn’t find anybody to kiss with on New Year‘s Eve (or Saint Sylvester’s day) of the new decade, you really don’t have to be disappointed! All reasons inside
Another decade coming in and you’re still single?
Why being disappointed when some nonsense can cheer you up? Well, some of it isn’t really nonsense. It actually kinda makes sense!
In front of you are all the reasons not to kiss somebody in New Year’s Eve…
1. Sympathy – we gotta sympathize with our soldiers, even the ones that are stuck in some stupid checkpoint in one of the borders when the new decade comes in. I, for example, sympathized with them by going up there to one of the checkpoints and defending our border!
2. Safety – it happened before and will happen in the future. Believe me, you don’t want to start the new decade by swallowing your own tongue!
3. Sylvester – you may have heard this a million times before, but Sylvester is a Christian holiday! You might be thinking that one Christian won’t do no harm but it starts with that and ends with you with a rabbit costume giving out eggs, or having kids rob candies from you when you want to go to sleep. Please, DO NOT GO DOWN THIS ROAD.
4. Clock – You do not want to miss the digit of the decade switching in your watch!
5. Mononucleosis – I think this one speaks for itself.
6. Babies – who wasn’t told once that babies come from kisses? I know, we have already tried this a million times and nothing happened, but who knows! It’s a new decade, everything is changing and no previous rules apply!
7. Anti-Semitism – Sylvester the first, the one New Year’s Eve is named after, was anti-Semitic. So instead of kissing we might as well burn things.
8. HIV – of course, it has no precedent, and it was never scientifically proven, but we want to play it safe, and if you don’t kiss you won’t get infected!
9. Kissing – yikes! Disgusting, or at least that’s what my little cousin is always saying…