The girl next door
when you put a fancy meat dish in front of a lion, he’ll eat it in a hurry, even if he’s vegetarian.
My grandma, god bless her soul, always used to say that in every bad thing there was also a good thing. At first I thought her age is causing her to speak nonsense, but eventually I realized she was absolutely right. Even in the army, coming back home once in three weeks has its advantages. It was fun to come back home and realize a new traffic light was added in my neighborhood and I didn’t have to witness the annoying works in the roads, or that my aunt’s dog had seven new puppies. But in this one time, the surprises reached a new level.
It was on a Friday. The family supper was over, the guests all left and I was ready to go out hoping to tear this city apart after three exhausting weeks. I knew I had at least 20 minutes until I’ll get picked up so I took my guitar and started playing. After 5 minutes it happened. Out of all houses, it happened from the house of the old people, a house that caused me to suffer a great deal of nausea and endless nights of no sleep due to horrifying sex moans. Out of all places, it was there where I saw a beautiful girl getting ready to go out. It seemed like the old couple moved out, and suddenly grandma’s old saying got another meaning.
I am actually not the creeper type, and it’s not like I had a shortage of girls in my life, but when you put a fancy meat dish in front of a lion, he’ll eat it in a hurry even if he’s vegetarian. It took the binoculars from the army and started peeking into the room. It was a gorgeous girl, probably 18-19 years old, with light eyes, an amazing body, dressed in a red dress with a cleavage that might have upset a priest or a Rabbi but certainly took my eyes out. The only downside was the makeup that might have been a little too much, I always liked the natural beauty. Anyway, the phone rang and the friends were already downstairs.
“You gotta check whether she’s at school or in the army”, told me Yoni my good friend, when I asked them how I can hit on this girl without getting shot by her father. “If she’s in the army you can offer her to take the train together, and if she’s a senior in high school then it’s time for an officer to pay her a visit”.
“Genius”, I said while tapping his back.
Everything as perfectly planned. I got a day off from the army, bought epaulettes of an officer and in the afternoon I rang the bell in the neighbors’ house.
Orit, Eli and Sigal Koren, I read the writings while waiting at the gate.
“Yes”, a female voice came out of the speaker.
“It’s for Sigal, I said and the lady opened the gate for me and later the door too.
“What do you need Sigal for?” She asked.
“A personal interview”, I said.
“Oh, okay”, replied Mrs. Koren with a suspicious look on her face. “She’s upstairs in her room”.
I went up to her room. My heart started beating rapidly. I’ve never done anything like that but still I didn’t have any regrets. I got to her room, and there she was lying in her bed, watching TV. Surprisingly so, she had makeup on just like in the last time I saw her.
“Hello”, she said.
“Hi”, I replied. “Can you give me a few minutes of your time for some questions?”
“Sure thing”, she said, taking two chairs to the center of the room and closing the door.
“I’ll be honest with you”, I said. “I am indeed a soldier, but I’m not here to talk to you about the army. I live next door, and ever since I saw you in the window I can’t stop thinking about you. I didn’t really know what to do with your parents, so I came in undercover”, I said and winked. “What do you say, you wanna meet?”
“Ho, Oren, how romantic”, she said and gave me a juicy kiss.
“Great”, I said, surprised by the quick response. “You wanna go to a movie together?”
“Yea, why not”, she replied. “Just wait a second, I have to go to the bathroom”.
I was left alone in the room so I used the time to take a quick look around the room. I saw a book on the table, “Algebra for the ninth grade”. My heart started beating rapidly again, I rushed for the door and left the house in a hurry.
“Goddammit with today’s generation”, I yelled. “You can’t tell the difference”!!!
*Any connection between the story and reality is completely coincidental!